Sunday, November 4, 2012

Castle Of Glass



Some things have got me really thinking when I had first heard this new song, well at least, somewhat new song, from Linkin Park called "Castle Of Glass".

This song really choked me up for two reasons.

1). I was in the US Army National Guard
2). I have been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

I have often thought about re-joining the Army once I got my knee and lower back taken care of - due to injuries suffered during my time in the Army but I have also thought about today's politics and how the current Wars are being fought. Sometimes I think that it's not even worth it. Other times I think about if my fellow brethren are staying safe over-seas especially a friend whom I consider a brother to me. His name is Jordan Kosby. Needless to say, I got him into the Army. He was so dedicated. He tried to apply for all the other services he could apply for but they all turned him down. After three years with his National Guard contract he decided to go Active Army and was deployed to Germany for a while, he was then transferred to Afghanistan for several months before being transferred back to Germany where he currently resides married to a local German girl named, "Angie", and now has a beautiful baby boy as well.

I always think of him and wonder if he is safe. He is wanting to make his time in the Army a career and eventually join the Special Forces.

Sometimes I am so envious of him though. Sometimes I wish I was able to fill his shoes instead. I know I should only be happy for him. For him being able to get married to a local and have a family there as well. I sometimes feel like I should be by his side as well. When that thought crosses my mind though, it always reverts to the type of thought that he has his shit figured out and doesn't need me there. It can all be so confusing sometimes.

If you ever get to read this Jordan....I hope you are safe and Elyssa and I love you very much.

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